Tired

If this doesn't make sense, don't blame me....I'm sooo tired and will refuse to remove any following typos.

And just for the heck of it, I'll write a song......it shall be named "The Tired Sleepy ZZZ Song....DON'T WAKE ME UP!"

I'm sooooooooooooooooooooo tired
It's 10:09 and I'm blogging about nothing
*slap slap*
wake up!

Are donkeys miniature horses?
Why do I love "Grey's Anatomy" so much?
Tiny little anvils are pulling down my eyelids
No, I'm not on crack!

My bologna has a first name, it's E-L-L-I-E
My bologna has a second name, it's T-Y-R-U-P-O-L-W-Q-C-X-V-N-M-N-S-M-I-T-H
Stairway to heaven
Oops, I did it again
It's the end of the world as we know it

And i fell fuiiiiiiiiiine

aero'ih;uj;aretg

Just Thought I'd Share...

A Snippet From Ellen Degeneres' Book, "My Point...And I Do Have One"

"Think about it. One hundred poodles are scarier than one leopard. That's assuming, of course that the leopard has no legs. You could come home, open the door and see a leopard with no legs sitting in your living room. So what could it do? It's got no legs. It would be growling away, and you could sit right in front of it and make faces and touch its nose and "Woo" at it.

The only way a no-legged leopard could hurt you is if it feell out of a tree onto your head. I don't know how it got up the tree, maybe some of the other animals lifted it up there. But you have to admit when that leopard fell on you and clamped down on your head with its teeth, it would be pretty bad. You'd start running down the street yelling, "Help, help me, please."

And more often than not, you'd run into a big group of animal-rights activists, a neugahyde of animal-rights activists. And, instead of helping, theyd probabably throw red paint at you. You would scream out, "It's not a hat, it's a live animal! It's got no legs. I would never wear fur. I am wearing it against my will."

So now you've got a live leopard on your head and paint all over you as well. That is pretty darn terrifying. But you know, I don't want to diminish the spider in my shoe. Believe me, loooking back, that was scary enough. I guess all I'm trying to say is you don't have to make stuff up, there are enough scary things in real life.

Wow

Well, today I did a search for books on Missionaries and picked up "Under the Overpass" and "On Being a Missionary". The latter book is supposed to have insights from 100 current and past missionaries. I've also requested information from World Venture. Also this week, I'll be going to the bank to set up a special savings account to use as funds for future missionary costs. This could hopefully be the start of something great!

Homeless

As I've been thinking recently about what I want to do with my life, one idea has been milling around lately. Missionary work. It wouldn't have to be out of the country, state, or even the city. I've always wanted to help people and enjoy it so much when the opportunity arises. In fact, I had a social work major for a short amount of time.
So here's something that's on my "take a step into reaching a major goal" list. Spend at least one weekend a year as a homeless person. No money, ID, or even gum; just the clothes on my back. Mike Yankoski wrote a book on his experience, but he didn't just do it for a weekend, he did it for five months and travelled across the country, from D.C. to San Fransisco. His book is titled "Under the Overpass". He had a good friend travel along with him during the entire experience, which is something I would want as well.
How can I become sympathetic to the homeless crisis, or even poverty in other countries if I never experience it on such a level?
What do you think?

Maid in Manhattan (With a Vengeance)

I don't know if once of my last posts had anything to do with it or not, but I had one of the strangest dreams ever on tuesday night.

Jennifer Lopez, aka "J.Lo" was in Minneapolis and the city threw a huge parade for her. Now I'm not a fan of hers, so having her in one of my dreams was especially odd. Anyway, back to the dream. I'm standing outside in the freezing cold watching this parade happen when the float she's standing on stops in front of me. All of a sudden the mayor walks over to her and declares that its now question and answer time, so he hands the microphone to me and asks if I have a question for Mrs. Lopez. So I come up with the first thing that pops in my head.

"Mrs. Lopez, will you ever stop using fur in your clothing designs?"

J.Lo's expression changes from thrilled to furious in a split second. She jumps off the float, runs over to me and screams, "Don't ever ask me that $*#@ question! I'm going to kill you!" She then smiles, turns around and gets back on the float. The parade then resumes....and I wake up.

freaky

Poe Wouldn't Write Like Shel Silverstein

Yeah, I know that my last post was pretty depressing, but I'm currently in a depressed mood. What would you expect? Sometimes I use this blog as an excuse to vent, so as to not bring up my issues to other relatives or friends. Some family and friends, who, ironically read this blog. Oh well.

Today was not a good day. Granted, I had enough work that would last me through the day, and that is always a plus, but for some reason I was so incredibly moody. Once in a while I'll get these mood swings. The sour end of the swing feels like an internal catfight.

Why the swing? Well, some of it must be hormonal. Sometimes I wonder why people were given these chemical balances and imbalances and specific glands which create hormones and why women seem to express the effects of these hormones more vocally and physically than men. If a man were to suddenly switch from having a nice, calm demeanor while dining at a restaurant to someone who instantly cries when the server says, "Sorry, we're out of vanilla ice cream", most would assume that this man has severe emotional problems. But when a pregnant woman goes from being the social light of a party to locking herself in a dark bedroom 15 minutes later crying, "I just want to be alone", nothing much is considered, except for those pesky hormones.

What would be another reason for today's swing? Minor irritations at work have ballooned into major annoyances, and today the balloon popped.

And another reason? I've realized more often than not, I can easily figure out what I don't want to do in life as opposed to what I do want to achieve before this life escapes from my body. Not only that, but I cannot come up with a single immediate way to get out of this rut. Not even a 5-year plan comes to mind.

I'm 23. Not married or even in a relationship, and not wanting to ever be in that status at all. Period. Is that normal, even for me? Not sure. Wanting to desperately go back to school, but not having the financial means whatsoever, and not even having a parent with that convenience. And I used to think that music was my definite career path. Now I'm not so sure. Wanting so much to have a permanent job, but not knowing how and not even getting an interview for the jobs I've been the most excited about pursuing. During my high school reunion last July, a former classmate asked what I had been up to since we had last seen each other. When I stated my reply in the most positive manner I could give, he apologized and said, "Everyone gets in a rut sometimes." . Wow. I felt like a total failure.

So for now, here's my goal for the next year, 2006.
- Get $1,000 in a general savings account

- Keep active in church

- Get a permanent job

- Stay in current housing arrangement

- Keep chipping away at my $10,000 college debt, get it down to $9,000

- Start new college savings account, get at least $500 in there (that should cover books expenses for one semester)

- If I can afford it, get a used car

- Keep adding to the "What I Don't Want to Do With My Life" list

- Maybe (a big maybe) figure out what I want to do before I die

- Take one step (minor or major) into reaching a life goal

- Read. Anything. All the Time.

Man, it is, pathetically, so hard to even comprehend an end in sight.

Don't Ralph, Ok?

Yesterday, I had the chance to come across a program called "2005's Big Spenders". The premise of the show is basically self-explanatory - it focuses on the celebrities who spend the most money in one year, and what they've bought with that money. Don't throw up when I list the following -

Madonna spent $10,000 on diamond encrusted eyelashes
Jennifer Lopez - $10 million on two rings
Tom Cruise - $20,000 on a necklace for his current fiance'
T-Boz - $50,000 on a mini-house for her daughter
Posh Spice and David Beckham - $150,000 for a play house for their kids
Paris Hilton and her former B/F - $1 million to rent a yacht for a month off the coast of Greece
Usher - An $80,000 diamond self-portrait on a watch

Can you imagine how much assistance $10 million would provide to those who suffered from Hurricane Katrina and Rita? How about those in Uganda who will travel many miles in one day through enemy territory to get a scrap of wood in order to start a fire to warm up meat at home? Or those who were just hit from the earthquake in Pakistan? Or those who struggle with aids.....or.....basically ANY other cause besides the feeding of these person's self-indulgence?

Now I'm not saying that if I had some extra cash that I wouldn't splurge a little. However, I completely admire Rick Warren, author of "The Purpose-Driven Life". When the money rolled in, he didn't upgrade his lifestyle. He didn't move into a better home and didn't get a better car. In fact, he tithed in reverse. He lived off 10% of his income and gave away 90%. I understand that most of the world's population cannot live like that, but what a world it would be if we could! What a difference it would make if John Travolta sold his jet and gave the proceeds to cancer research. If Madonna sold her second home in Britain and donated to Hurricane Katrina relief efforts. In fact, if Madonna just took a second look at those eyelashes, said "pass", then gave that same amount of $ to a food shelter or the Salvation army.

I want to cry.

Hilarious Videos

A church actually made these videos as a satirical look at Jesus and most importantly who He is NOT. These four videos will crack you up.

www.vintage21.com

>>Enter Site
>>Hover mouse over film projector at top of images and click
>>click videos
>>Page 2 (small blue number at top)
>>Enjoy

Lies, Lies, Lies

Ok, this is just something I have to get off my chest.

I'm trying to figure out the turning point in which the news reports went from being honest to a constant spewing of blatant lies. I cannot believe or watch the news anymore without shaking my head in disbelief or disgust.

Last week on the local news station, I saw a dramatic slow-motion re-enactment of a dog being bitten by a coyote. WHO CARES? Does anyone report on the following?

We have a war in Iraq in which democrats once said was justified but is now called "unfounded" for some particular reasons. They had and still have the same information that comes across the president's desk, but disagree.

Joseph Wilson (who consistently donates to the the democratic party), Valerie Plame's husband, once made a statement to the CIA that Sadaam Hussein had contacted Niger for its interest in "yellow cake" a form of uranium that can be used in the production of nuclear weapons but then reniged that statement saying that Iraq had interests only in Nigers other products. And what would those other products be? Hmm......how about cowpeas, cotton, peanuts, millet, sorghum, cassava (tapioca), rice; cattle, sheep, goats, camels, donkeys, horses, and poultry. I can just picture Sadaam calling up the Nigerian government to negotiate the shipping rates on tapioca and rice for the annual Betty Crocker Cook-off. "We always lose to Niger, but not this time! Our tapioca pudding will have them in the palms of our hands! Death to the infidels!".

The war on Iraq, Hurricane relief efforts, the riots in France, the confirmation proceedings of Judge Alito,and Bird Flu should be the world's news priorities and MUST be reported in an unbiased fashion, but the differences in journalistic integrity from station to station are astounding. And what are some of the top stories for today alone?

Cheerleaders Had Sex in Bar, Witnesses Say

Aniston Happy to Talk About Her Dog

Not that you news stations would listen to me or even come across this blog, but just in case -

To those who report the news on a daily basis-

Please, please, pretty please. I know you get paid too much for any of you to actually care about what goes on in the world, but if you could remember a few things, it would make an absolute world of difference -

You are not an elected politician. Therefore, do not interject your own political beliefs and opinions into your stories. Your desk is not your soapbox, your job is to be a clean slate.

If there's a natural disaster (i.e. hurricane) about to hit dry land, don't send a reporter to just stand outside to get beaten by the rain and forces to then proclaim "Wow, it's windy out here!" You don't say.

I do not want to see any of your side talents included in your reports. That means no singing Lisa Loeb.

If you book a conservative opinion for a story, get a liberal to counteract those opinions.

Stop interviewing celebrities. They are the absolute antithesis to anything moral or relevant to today's society. I do not need or want the political opinions of someone who makes more $ than the third world countries they beg us to support.

Is a John Williams symphony really necessary during the opening credits? No, so remove it!

When in doubt, shut up and read from the teleprompter!


UGH

Could It Be?

Could it be that some possible BIG changes are in store? Could I be willing to change from-

Pine Trees to Palm Trees?

The Swedish, Norweigan, German ancestry to Spanish?

Land of 10,000 lakes to Land of Governer Schwarzenegger?

"Minnesota Nice" to "Can I Give you a Reference to a Good Plastic Surgeon?"

Hennepin County to Orange County?

Missisippi River to Pacific Ocean?

Ice Fishing to Surfing?

Uff Da

This is going to take some major internal preparation.