And I Was "Like" - No You Weren't!

Several years ago, the actor Edward Norton appeared on the interview show “Inside the Actors Studio” where he was asked by host James Lipton about his least favorite word. Mr. Norton replied, “Like”, to which Mr. Lipton soupy rolled his eyes back in his head and replied “Oh yes, me, too!”. I have now joined the likes (pun intended) of Mr. Norton and Mr. Lipton in declaring that my least favorite word is “Like”.

Not “like” as in “I like ice cream”, but in the sense where people use the word in describing an action or feeling. For instance, today I was standing in line inside a gas station and the woman in front of me was talking on the phone in super-speed motion. Her conversation went a little somethin’ like this (huh!):

“So I called my friends and I was like are you going to pick up and they did and they were like “hello” and I was like “Uh..hi, where have you been” because for the past, like, week or so I was like freaking out because I couldn’t get a hold of them and I was like “Did they get hurt” or like “Are they ignoring me?” and so I like talked to them and they were like “We’re, like, Ok” and I was like relieved and said “Like, what have you guys been doing, like?”

I listened to this and was like, “MAKE IT STOP!”. Since when has cheerleader talk been acceptable? When I was a kid I would say the following cheer with my friends to crack each other up –

“Like totally, for sure
I just got a manicure
The sun, up there,
Is bleaching out my golden hair!
24, 34, I don’t know the stupid score!
Like, gag me with a spoon!”

And we all thought it was funny because it was too ridiculous to think that someone would actually speak like that. Lo and behold, fiction has now become fact!

Another statement I hate: “That was the bomb!”

Yet my 48 year old mother says it with such enthusiasm that you would think she had gone back in time to become Paris Hilton’s twin. When I think of that statement, I wonder how it came about. No one would ever look back in history to reflect on Hiroshima as being TOTALLY cool! So when someone talks about a really tasty avocado dip, why does “That is the BOMB!” apply? I don’t get it. Is the avocado dip packed with so much yummy goodness that the flavors interact with each other and then explode in your mouth and blow all your teeth out? If that’s the case, then I really don’t want to try it.

What about “You Go, Girl!”. Where do you want me to go? Are you saying I should leave? Is that a compliment or do you want me to get away? Why are you pumping your fist in the air when you say it?

“Talk to the hand, cuz the face ain’t listening!”. No, I would rather not talk to your hand. See that lump three feet above your butt is the only extremity that has the holes on each side called “Ears” and those holes enable you to comprehend the words that are coming out of the bigger hole in my lump, my “mouth”. Say it with me now, “Hands do not have listening abilities”. And the word “ain’t” isn’t a word. I don’t care if it is in the dictionary!

I wonder what the suicide rate for high school English teachers, like, is.

Yeah, It's Been A While...

So sue me! You won't get anything out of it! Could I be any more busy? I think not. In the midst of going to work full-time, attending 7 credits of college, working on getting my certificate in Biblical Counseling and leading a small group at church...I have this blog (among others!) which should have been updated at least once a month...but that has not been the case! So bring it on!