Just Thought I'd Share...

A Snippet From Ellen Degeneres' Book, "My Point...And I Do Have One"

"Think about it. One hundred poodles are scarier than one leopard. That's assuming, of course that the leopard has no legs. You could come home, open the door and see a leopard with no legs sitting in your living room. So what could it do? It's got no legs. It would be growling away, and you could sit right in front of it and make faces and touch its nose and "Woo" at it.

The only way a no-legged leopard could hurt you is if it feell out of a tree onto your head. I don't know how it got up the tree, maybe some of the other animals lifted it up there. But you have to admit when that leopard fell on you and clamped down on your head with its teeth, it would be pretty bad. You'd start running down the street yelling, "Help, help me, please."

And more often than not, you'd run into a big group of animal-rights activists, a neugahyde of animal-rights activists. And, instead of helping, theyd probabably throw red paint at you. You would scream out, "It's not a hat, it's a live animal! It's got no legs. I would never wear fur. I am wearing it against my will."

So now you've got a live leopard on your head and paint all over you as well. That is pretty darn terrifying. But you know, I don't want to diminish the spider in my shoe. Believe me, loooking back, that was scary enough. I guess all I'm trying to say is you don't have to make stuff up, there are enough scary things in real life.