Saturday, February 18, 2006

Why Do I Live Here?

It's cold up here.

How cold is it, Ellie?

Well, it's so cold that while walking outside for a maximum of maybe 2 minutes, my eyelids were beginning to freeze shut.

It's so cold, that when walking by a movie theater last night, a spilled glass of pop had frozen so quickly that you could see the physical carbonation stuck to the ground.

And speaking of movies, it's so cold that when my friend and I went to see, "The Second Chance", during what was possibly the last few minutes of the film, the theater's spinkler system froze and cracked open, spewing water everywhere at the front entrance. This caused all the films to stop and the emergency lights to flip on. We never did get to see the end of it.

It's so cold that even if you were to lather lotion on your hands and then stand outside for a minute or so and come in, your skin would look like the bark on a tree.

It's so cold that your nasal cavities freeze in a matter of seconds.

It's so cold that I've now decided to become a hermit for the remainder of winter and into the first month of "Spring". I've made up some imaginary friends and we're going to watch movies, play board games, and have a rousing rendition of "truth or dare". And you're not invited!

All because it's so cold.

1 comment:

Sue said...

Dude, you're not inviting me? What the heck is wrong with you? JERK.