The Puppy Peave

Why are pets, more specifically, dogs, allowed to be treated, dressed and fed like human beings? Why do some people have this scary obsession which is completely irrelevant to the dog, except in the case for that dog to be horribly spoiled?
A few weeks ago, a dear friend of mine decided to go puppy shopping. After looking online in the classified ads, she saw a specific breed they wanted and decided to drive 6 hours one-way to IOWA for this puppy. Once the puppy was in their possession, she forgot one crucial aspect to having this dog: checking with her apartment manager to see if she could actually have it in her building. After having the dog in her place for over two weeks, she discovered that it was not an option. The apartment manager who lives DIRECTLY above her inevitably discovered the dog and told her she had until noon the next day to get the dog out. So this friend MOVED. INTO ANOTHER BUILDING THAT DOESN'T ACCEPT PETS. The manager for that building decided to give in to her request, so she was extremely lucky in that regard. Ever since that move, the behavior has been shocking.
Why let a puppy drink pop? Why let a dog lick your face after it has licked its genitals for over five minutes? What is the point of leaving someone a phone message to impersonate and bark as your DOG? Why bring your untrained dog into someone's newly carpeted and furnished home, when it could have stayed with a friend who was more than happy to take care of it? This woman's family even threw a 'puppy shower' for this dog. This same family has also admittedly given their pets BAPTISMS. WHY?! A dog cannot tell its own tail apart from another dog's, but apparently it can accept Jesus as its savior and promise to live its own little doggy life in accordance with Christ's. Smart dog, I tell ya.
All I can say up to this point is that if I decide to get a dog, it's name will be "DOG". It will eat the dog food that has been placed in its appropriate dish on the floor and nothing else. It will drink tap water from another dish on the floor. If I have a home at that point, it will sleep outside. Maybe in a dog house, maybe not. You don't see wild dogs living in little wooden homes out in the fields, do you? Who knows, maybe PETA will get on that and create a fundraiser for that purpose alone.
When my dog dies (and it will, people, dogs are not immortal!), there shall be no funeral. I'll use the $ I spent on dog food for the past 13 years or so and save it up to buy a didgeridoo or something.

But I'm not bitter, really!